writing my paper: a live action blog

i’ve decided to do this thing, to make this hellish process less tedious. enjoy. i’m not.

4:01 am – i have an intro paragraph. questionable thesis, but revision is laughable when the paper is due in approximately 15 hours. robert crashaw’s writing is like an ice sculpture: cold and transparent but if i pick it too much it may splinter and fall to pieces. hoping i can convey this in two pages. i have to pee. upon my return, i shall proceed with paragraph UN. huffah! to the loo.

4:35 am – hm. half the page filled (one page double spaced) and i’m still on the first paragraph. the limit is 3 pages. decided to 86 the ‘poetic construction’ part of my thesis; i didn’t feel like fiddling around with meter and rhyme scheme anyway.

4:58 am – …how did over 20 minutes go by without me writing a single word? self, get your head in the game. or go die for referencing high school musical.

4:59 am – sounds like my roommate just angrily sighed in her sleep. sorry, roomie.

5:00 am – no, i take that apology back. i’d rather be sleeping fitfully than up writing fitfully. OKAY GOING NOW GOSH.

5:18 am – damn. one of the metaphors collapsed on me. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, ROBERT CRASHAW?! your tenors and vehicles are making my head spin. urgh. nap? just for an hour or so. …no? fine.

5:21 am – bye bye, metaphor. hello, personification. i’m finishing this paragraph and then taking a 90 minute power nap. i’m knackered.

5:45 am – yay. one paragraph down and i’m almost to the end of the page. basically a second paragraph and conclusion and i’m out this bitch. naptime first though. only 90 minutes, like i said, i can’t sleep too long and risk–zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7:58 am – I HATE EVERYTHING. I WANT TO SLEEP. waking up to that horrific alarm and remembering i had a paper to finish… oh, the pain.

8:21 am – dff;dsgljrelkhgetjhlggfldg dflsgjeriogerow32i3oitbbm,s;qwlflkdg roe4w33pogo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#4poi095th

8:55 am – onto the conclusion. in such a short paper, i have no idea if i’ve properly developed my argument, but as exhausted as i am, i really don’t care. this is the problem — i wait and wait and wait to get these things done so that by the end of the process i’m too burned out to care if i did a crappy job. luckily i’ve been able to slide by with As and Bs my entire life, but i still always turn in my papers with 10% trepidation and 90% apathy. whatever. conclusion and then back to sleep for a couple hours. i still have some french homework to do before class at 2:50. and yes, i am skipping my morning class, thus the reason i’ve had this looong stretch of time to write this paper.

9:29 am – it’s the final push; WHY AM I NOT DONE YET?! rawr rawr rawr.

9:55 am – works cited page. i NEVER remember all the tiny technicalities but MLA is a hell of a lot easier than MHRA, the style i had to use in england. footnotes suck.

10:09 am – after however many years of writing MLA papers, i’ve FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THE NAME PAGE NUMBER HEADER THING. it was as easy as googling instructions that made sense.

10:11 am – oh yeah. i’m done. emailing it to myself and going the hell back to sleep for about three hours. adieu.

total time: 6 hours, 10 minutes

foods consumed: a slice of apple pie

confidence: minimal

all in all just another paper.


0 thoughts on “writing my paper: a live action blog

  1. eiln says:

    hi this was hilarious and i could totally relate. congrats on getting it done at least

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